We have heard sermons, read online posts, participated in discussions and conversations about the subject of
forgiveness and
Revenge.
We have been told that the better road is forgiveness.
The world would be a better place if we all forgave
, they say.
We have heard it all, but, we are still yet to imbibe the culture of forgiveness. Why? Because
we do not want to forgive!
As diabolical as that may sound, it is absolutely true. Not everyone is willing to forgive.
When some of us are hurt, we hold on to the anger, we nurse the pain, we fertilize the displeasure until it produces seeds of bitterness, un-forgiveness, and hatred. We don’t want to forget the pain and how it felt. Because if we do, then ‘’justice’’ (as we call it) would not prevail. We want to resent the person who hurt us until we can give them a taste of what they did and how they made us feel.
Yes, we want REVENGE!!
So, how about we put a break in this ‘’forgiveness’’ talk and take a look at revenge for a second.
To revenge is simply to retaliate or payback.
Revenge is personal. It is not about justice, but evening scores. Revenge has no line, no rules; it drives you to hurt the person until you feel satisfied or until you are satisfied by their suffering.
Revenge doesn’t only imply physical hurt or visible damage, it could be psychological, or emotional torture.
IF FORGIVENESS IS OVER-RATED, TRY REVENGE
Irrespective of the perspective of the world about revenge, there are reasons why people want it and desire it.
Revenge gives you the pleasure of seeing the other person suffer for what they have done. This satisfaction is tempting and it is what we seek first when we are hurt.
Revenge proves to the person who hurt you, that you are powerful and not to be trifled (played) with.
In some cases, revenge gives you a cause and a sense of purpose especially when the revenge is not immediate but plotted in advance.
It gives the illusion of power over the person. You feel like you know how to get them, you are waiting for when to get them, you will come at them when they least expect it.
Revenge is easier. Honestly, revenge costs less in the immediate. It is easier to pay-back; it is not as time consuming because it is a natural response.
When you have finally revenged, it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder.
WHAT YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT REVENGE
Though, it is cheaper in the immediate,
it is destructive in the end.
The time spent in plotting revenge
steals the future from you.
While you are chasing the fulfillment of your purpose of revenge, you are probably over looking what happens after it is done.
Revenge is a part of your character
If you are a person that seeks revenge, it is not because you were hurt, but because it has always been who you are. You retaliate even for little things. Someone hits you, and you hit back, someone talks behind your back and you do the same. It did not happen in a day; you meditated upon it, until it became you.
You hurt people also
We are humans and that means we are not infallible. You will hurt or offend someone else and they would seek revenge for their pain too. It is the law of nature. What you sow, you will SURELY reap.
Revenge is a jail house
All the while, you had been a prisoner of hurt, pain, anger, and bitterness and the funny thing is that you are the jailer. Un-forgiveness keeps you unhappy.
You are the only one remembering, plotting, and re-living the pain and the other person is living their lives free. You are burdened, he/she is not.
Sometimes, the offender doesn’t even remember what he or she has done anyway, isn’t it sad? Meanwhile, you are stuck in the rage; you can’t see the sun, incarcerated, no freedom, no home - an outcast.
Revenge is never as good as you imagined.
It amazes me when I see movies of someone who sought revenge and was free, happy, and fulfilled in the end. That is a huge lie!
There’s a feeling you get once you have done what you dreamed. It can be likened to a mirage, it feels like you are fulfilled, but truly you aren’t. At first a burden is lifted or so you think. Shortly, you’ll feel empty inside. You’d mostly like say “I thought I would feel much better’’ but I don’t. You got what you wanted, so why aren’t you happy and fulfilled?
Revenge is not justice.
Justice implies the person was punished to the lawful proportion of the crime, but that never happens with revenge. Revenge is personal and emotional and these are factors that affect rationalism and good judgment. When seeking revenge, you will surely cross the ‘’just’’ line, this is because it is based on your satisfaction.
Revenge has its consequences. No one can take law into their hands and come out of it unhurt.
REVENGE OR NOT?
This is a decision for you to make. Revenge is enticing but destructive. The opposite however is difficult but fulfilling and redeeming.
When you choose to forgive, you choose not to give your power away. You choose to reclaim the power that someone has over you.
At the end of the day, revenge is not the best or only solution; it is the weakest and easiest way to go.
Forgiveness however difficult is a walk for the strong.
