WHEN LOVE GOES WRONG........JUSTIN SPEAKS

Hello LHD readers,
There are two sides to every love story. Last month Janet shared her sad love story with us(click here if you missed it) and we promised to get the other side of the story before we can offer our advice well....We finally got a hold of Justin and he was gracious enough to share his side of the story with us. Read his story below.



I believe in Love and the ability to show love to the people around me. I took notice of Janet a few months after school resumed in March. I was in my 400 level 1st semester when we met. At first, I didn’t think that there was anything special about her, but after we exchanged phone numbers and began communicating via Whatsapp, I discovered she was a gentle, loving and easy to please person. She laughed a lot, she was always happy especially when I did her favours. After a while, I decided to ask her to be my girlfriend; at that point with a smile, she accepted.
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Getting into a relationship got us closer; my friends knew her and she knew all my friends. We also began to know a lot of things about each other. She told me how her ex-boyfriend used to hit her and, I also told her I used to have lots of girlfriends and that I still have some of them as friends. All I wanted to do was focus on my academics.

Janet knew I have more female friends than male friends and I thought she was cool with it. I help some of them out with school work and naturally care for them. I get along better with girls than with guys. I believe I am one of the best students in my department so other students come to me for help including girls.

After a while, I noticed a change in Janet’s attitude. She was always checking my phone and reading my chats. She began asking lots of questions about every girl she found around me which sometimes pissed me off. So many times, this caused an argument between us. She also developed a habit of giving me what I call ‘long speeches’ on how the other girls’ aim was to destroy our relationship, looking for something negative to say about them.

I got tired of her nagging and her demanding attitude that I began to lie to her. I tried talking to my guy friends but all they did was tease me; so, I found comfort in the arms of my other female friends that were less demanding. I continued to lie to Janet about my whereabouts. She noticed and began paying surprise visits to my place. On one of such occasion, she found me in bed with one of her classmates. She got angry and I didn’t waste time apologizing to her. I did everything to make her happy and in no time, she forgave me and our relationship continued.

Her wanting-to-know-all attitude got worse. She began to insist on following me wherever I went, I practically had no breathing space and I began to loose interest in her gradually because she was now more of a pain in the neck.
One night, she called to tell me she would be going to sleep over at a friend’s place because she had malaria and needed care. I wished her a good night and promised to check on her the following morning. I was home trying to help a female classmate of mine with a tedious school assignment that dragged on into late night. Because it was too late for her to go home, I advised her to spend the night at my place. At about 11:35 pm, I heard a knock on my door and to my utmost amazement, it was Janet. She came in and found the girl fast asleep. Janet lost control of her emotions; she hit me, called me a coward and ran out of the house into the full moon light outside. I ran after her and immediately grabbed her arm. She wept and kept saying, ‘But Justin I love you, why are you doing this to me?’ At that moment, I got confused about what love really meant.

I felt since things were not going to change any time soon, I should just let her be and so because I didn’t want to hurt her because I knew she loves me, I asked her to see other guys maybe she would release her tight grip on me.

I see nothing wrong with the idea.

WHEN LOVE GOES WRONG

Change is a constant thing. People change and even love itself can change from sweet to sour. I wish my story was like a romantic Indian movie but reality still takes its place. This is the story of my love for Justin gone wrong.
Justin is not my first love but I have never loved anybody as much as I loved him. I met him at the school cafeteria where he paid for my lunch because the cashier didn’t have change. We exchanged contacts and voila my journey with Justin started. He was not so bad a person and one thing I liked about him was that he cared for me and surprised me with lots of gifts. My loved for him grew as the days rolled by. I thought I couldn’t survive in school without him, my friends would tell me ‘’ girl your boyfriend is on point’’. I couldn’t imagine my life without Justin anymore. Many times, I imagined our names together in bright neon lights saying ‘’ Justin and Janet forever.
Nothing lasts forever as people will say. My first attempt at waking up from my dream world was when one of my friends came to me and disclosed that Justin was seriously asking her out. I couldn’t believe it and I got into a fight with my friend. All attempts to confirm from Justin failed because I felt he was just too good to do such a thing to me. I moved on with my relationship with him and didn’t worry about what my friend had said. Scenarios that could still wake me from my dreams presented itself. Scenarios like late night calls from other girls, giving me flimsy excuses for some of his actions, but still I believed every lie, because I loved him.
The worst was when I caught him red-handed in bed with a girl from my class. This time I fully woke up to reality. I vowed never to forgive him, but he came apologizing. He was close to tears and promised it would never happen again. I forgave him because I loved him and we got back together. His attitude towards me changed. I could sense the change but I always let it slide out of my mind and pretend like nothing was wrong.
Reality came crashing on me again when one night, I decided to go sleep over at his house, but another girl was already there to spend the night with him. I ran out of his house amidst tears. I just wanted to get it by a moving vehicle when he came after me once again apologizing. I still love Justin but why was he treating me like this. Even if he didn’t love me, my own love was enough for both of us I thought.
He said he knows I love him very much and that even if he sees other girls, it is me he loves and want to spend the rest of his life with. The surprising thing was that he said if I wanted, I could still see other guys but it would be him I would still love. Now I ask myself, what kind of love is this? Should I remain only with Justin, or remain with him and see other guys like he suggested? or I should totally leave him and see other guys though I still love him?