QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK

Hello LHD readers,

Lots of people have sent in their question and they would love your help in tackling the little challenges and issues they are presently facing in their relationship. You can add your opinion as a comment under this post, please indicate the question you are responding to. Kindly note that, as always, we keep the names of our readers anonymous unless they request otherwise. 

You ready? Let’s go!

QUESTION 1: 

Dear LHD,

“If the guy you are ‘involved with’ refuses to trust you and doesn’t even let you visit other guys, is it right to continue that kind of relationship?”

Answer

Life is full of people with their own issues. When we are choosing to be or remain in a relationship, it must be because we can both manage to live with each other’s issue. When we cannot, it is necessary to bring to an end the relationship.

If a guy does not trust you, it may be because he has trust issues, or feel insecure about you or your desire to spend time with other guys. Ask yourself, is there a way you conduct yourself around guys that he doesn’t like? Have you had something unpleasant to do with other guys in the past that you told him about and he still remembers? Is he uncomfortable because any of those other guys is interested in you?

If after being truthful to yourself you realize that it has nothing to do with you at all, and it is just him being jealous, high handed over protective self, there are 3 things you can do.

a. Talk to him sincerely about how you feel and give him an opportunity to speak also

b. Give him an opportunity to change without pressure from you.

c. If you have done the above and he hasn’t changed, then it might be time to end the relationship.

QUESTION 2:  

“Is it right to leave a person you love for another person because of money? If this person gives you the money you need to care for yourself, helps your parents financially and is also mature and serious for marriage?”

Answer There are many dilemmas in life and many of the options you face in life are not necessarily pleasant.

Your question has many possible answers.

Is it right to leave a person you love? Well the answer can be yes or no. it is “no” when the person loves you back, then love is built on the right assumption and decision, and you both plan to make the relationship permanent and have the potential to make that happen. However, if that is not the case and the relationship is not defined, and you both are unsure, then you are at liberty to leave upon a mutual agreement.

If it is because of money you are planning to leave, then you may need to pause a bit.

Ask yourself are there other qualities he has that are desirable to you and that you can live with?

 You mentioned he is mature and, serious.  I would like to ask; if he has all these qualities and you can relate with his maturity and seriousness, is it the type of relationship you want; does he have genuine interest in you beyond helping you, does he listen to you and you both have conversations about the future? Or he just sees you as a little girl he is making a wife out of?

If you can relate with him and he with you, and you choose to leave your first relationship then you can start another relationship with him.

QUESTION 3: 

“I have a friend who loved this girl so much that it was too obvious to everyone. He asked the girl but she started taking advantage of him and become demanding. She didn’t say yes or no to his request. What should he do?”

Answer 

Hmm, something is out of place in this picture. The boy loves and cares about the girl, and he is doing everything to convince her to do the same, unfortunately, it isn’t the same for the lady.

Life is full of choices and decisions.  It is evident she isn’t interested yet, but, he is blinded by his desire and affection for her. He needs to make up his mind and stop, but, can he do that?

It is highly immature for the girl to begin to take advantage of the guy’s interest and begin to demand expensive things; it shows that if the relationship starts it may not or will not be built on a foundation that can stand.

QUESTION 4: 

“Girls know when a guy has feelings for them but they take advantage and start demanding. I would like to understand why.”

Answer 

This is similar in some ways to question 3 above. Everyone takes advantage of another when they do not know better. When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is imminent.

The purpose of someone caring for you is to make you ask yourself a question; do I care for this person also? If the care is not mutual, it is time to let the person go.

If the care is mutual and it is healthy, it is time to interact, discuss and create room to understand each other.

QUESTION 5

“Why is it that women are so full of emotions and men are emotionless?”

Answer 

Everyone has emotions, both men and women. However, women are said to be emotional than men because they are more expressive of their emotions than men are.

Depending on several factors including: personality, self -awareness, personal choices and family background, men tend to express some or no emotions at all. However, with time they do. 

Men need to be taught to have a role model and mentored on how to safely express their emotions, and then they would do it more often.

QUESTION 6: 

“When you have unknowingly led someone on and you realize you have, how do you go about setting the records straight without coming off as rejecting the person? And is it advisable to still keep the friendship? I guess what I am asking is; how do I tell her I just want to be friends when she thinks otherwise?

Answer 

Well the only way to do it is to tell her. Tell her with sincerity and apologize sincerely for the past. However, you need to accept that her response is her choice. She may choose to continue or not to continue to be friends with you and you need to be willing to accept that.

Do you have a question you would like an answer to? Do you need advice on how to go about challenges you are facing in your relationship? Then ask us. You can send it as a message on our Facebook page-LOVE HAPPENS DIARY or you can send a mail to lovehappensinfo@gmail.com. 

Keep loving!!!